New Kid On The Block
by Lauraz
Summary: Jac/Joseph story. With a new character Louise Carter on the scene. My first attempt at a fanfiction. Hope you like it. Complete.
1. Chapter 1

New Kid On The Block

MICHAEL: Jac, good to see you back.

JAC : I never thought I'd say this but it's good to be back!

MICHAEL: I always knew you loved this place really.

JAC: I wouldn't go quite that far.

MICHAEL: By the way, Mrs Beauchamp wants to see you in her office ASAP.

JAC: (sighs) I've got patients to deal with, can't it wait?

MICHAEL: Whatever it is, it sounds important.

JAC: Right fine, wouldn't want to keep Mrs Beauchamp waiting now would I?

_Jac knocks on Connie's door_

JAC: Mr Spence said you wanted to see me about something?

CONNIE: Ah Ms Naylor yes, nice to have you back on board. There's something you should know, Dr Louise Carter will be working with you for the forseeable future.

JAC : I see you have wasted no time in replacing me then!

CONNIE: Your long term absence has put quite a strain on this hospital, I can assure you. She is not your replacement. We can never have enough CT surgeons anyway. We needed cover (like I _said.) _

JAC: Surely we have enough cover, with Mr Hope, Mr Byrne, Mr Griffin, and Mr Spence. Why not just get a locum in as a short-term measure?

Connie: We did try that, but in the end I decided it would make more sense that Dr Carter took up the job on a permanent basis. She is an excellent addition to our team.

JAC: I've got to go, I have a lot of work to catch up with.

_Turns and slams the door shut. walks down to theatre._

LOUISE CARTER: Oh hi, are you on standby? I was expecting Jack Naylor. He seems to be late. I wish people would just give a time and stick to it.

JAC: I am Jac Naylor. Dr Carter, I assume?

LOUISE: Yeah er, sorry about that. When I heard the name mentioned, nobody actually said you were female.

_Jac looking slightly annoyed at that point_

JAC: So you'll be assisting me then?

LOUISE: As far I'm aware, it is actually the other way around. I'm clinical lead on this procedure. I have already informed Mr Lewis that I will be doing the surgery.

JAC: Well nobody told me, and who told you that you were clinical lead anyway?

LOUISE: Ric Griffin, he asked me two weeks ago. He said you wouldn't be back for a while, and would I mind taking the case on.

JAC: So let me get this straight: I have to go on sick leave after donating a kidney, and return to find some jumped-up pipsqueak taking over.

_Louise now looks furious._

LOUISE: Do you normally talk to your collleagues in such rude and quite frankly offensive terminology? I'm here to help you by the way. I certainly didn't come here to be insulted.

JAC: Listen, I don't NEED anyone's help. I never have and I never will either!

LOUISE: Look, I haven't got time for chit chat, shall we just get on with the job in hand?

JAC:(_Dripping with sarcasm)_ With pleasure.

_Both women prepare for the patient in total silence. Mr Lewis now comes in._

LOUISE: Right lets get this show on the road. Scalpel please.

_Louise opens up the patient who needs a double heart bypass operation._

LOUISE: I'm now going to graft a vessel from the leg onto the coronary artery. Looking good so far.

_All appears to be going to plan._

JAC: BP is dropping fast. We need to hurry up,his SATS are far too low.

Heart monitor starts to bleep.

LOUISE: There's a tear in the aorta ,there's too much blood. Jac I need suction, NOW.

JAC: BP is still dropping, have you located the tear yet? We're going to lose him.

LOUISE: (_through gritted teeth)_ What do you think I'm trying to do?

_The heart monitor speeds up. _

JAC: He's tachycardic!

JAC: He's going into VF, give me the paddles. Charging to 20 clear!

LOUISE: No output, charge again.

JAC: Charging to 20 again, clear.

LOUISE: I've found the tear!

JAC: Still no output, charging to 40, clear.

LOUISE: Still nothing. I've managed to stem the bleed, charge again please.

JAC: Charging to 60. clear!

LOUISE: We have sinus rhythm. BP's stablising, heart rate is now returning to normal. Right lets close Mr Lewis up, and get him to ITU as soon as we can.

_They take Mr Lewis to ITU and see Michael in the corridor._

MICHAEL: Well look here, if it isn't the A-team! How did the surgery go?

JAC: It went OK but -

LOUISE: The procedure went well. We did encounter a few minor problems, but nothing we couldn't handle.

_Jac glares at Louise._

MICHAEL: The patients' still alive and kicking, that's good enough for me. Good job.

_Later Louise is doing ward rounds on Darwin,in walks Joseph._

JOSEPH: Louise, how did the heart bypass operation go?

LOUISE: Pretty well really considering.

JOSEPH: Considering what?

LOUISE: Two words, Jac Naylor.

JOSEPH: (Chuckles slightly) Sharp was she?

LOUISE: Try positively acidic, is she always so delightful to work with?

JOSEPH: Lets just say, that she can an be an anquired taste. (_Lowers his voice, as Jac storms past)_ Try not to erm, rub her up the wrong way too much. Jac tends to hold grudges for life.

LOUISE: Oops! Your advice may have come too late. We exchanged a few words, needless to say she didn't like it when I told her that, in fact she was assisting **Me.**

JOSEPH: I commend your courage. Not many people tell Jac what to do, and survive to tell the tale... Anyway I was going to ask you if you'd like to come for a drink after this shift? Of course Elliot and Michael will join us.

LOUISE: Yeah that would be nice, thanks. How about asking Jac along as well? I'd like to get know her away from a work enviroment. What time shall we meet?

JOSEPH: (_Checks his watch.)_ 19:30?

LOUISE: Look forward to it. (_smiles and walks away)_

_Joseph finds Jac by the coffee machine._

JAC: Why can I never get a decent cup of coffee in this damn place?

JOSEPH: Maybe you should cut down on the coffee, and try herbal tea?

_Jac rolls her eyes Why is Joseph so annoyingly sensible!_

JAC: Maybe you should shut up!

JOSEPH: Bad day?

JAC: Why do you care? Anyway enough with the pleasantries, what do you want?

_Long pause_

JAC: Spit it out Joseph.

JOSEPH:_(stutters very slightly) _Would you like to come for a drink after work?

JAC: Why what's the occasion?

JOSEPH: There isn't one, so are you coming or not?

JAC: What the hell, OK what time?

JOSEPH: 19:30.

JAC: Yeah fine whatever.

_Joseph walks away, leaving Jac with the slightest hint of a smile across her face._

_Jac drove back to her flat, feeling strangely nervous and apprehensive. Why the hell did she feel so sick? It was only drinks after work. Pull yourself together, get a grip! _

Jac was gripping the steering wheel so hard, her knuckles had turned white.

_Joseph was the only person who could get under her skin, and make Jac feel emotionally weak, bring out feelings Jac thought she had managed to supress. She hated it when she had no control over her emotions. That was why she was so good at work, she knew exactly what was expected of her. She could retain her normally cool and calm exterior, and be the utimate professional. She had tried so hard to be the same way with Joseph, but in the end, she just reverted back to being a complete cow. Jac knew she could never forgive Joseph for not giving her a second chance..._


	2. Chapter 2

Hopes And Fears

_Jac looked in her wardrobe a sense of panic creeping in. Why had she agreed to drinks with Joseph? She wasn't even sure if she could get through the evening, she felt so tired and in a bad mood. Her day had gone from bad to worse- ever since she had set eyes on Dr Louise Carter. Jac was still furious about the way Louise had taken over this morning. _

_Jac eventually found a light blue dress, and sat down in front of the mirror to apply some Mascara and lip gloss. She put her hair up. Suddenly Jac remembered the lock down where Joseph had recalled all the details of their first date, including the fact that she had worn her hair up. That conversation still haunted Jac to this day. Looking at her reflection in the mirror, she said out loud._

"Maybe this is my second chance, to prove we belong together".

_Finally ready, she grabbed her car keys, and left the flat feeling ever so slightly excited._

_Jac arrived at the bar, checked her watch for the 5th time. Just as she was about to get out of her car, she caught sight of Joseph and Louise in the rearview mirror heading towards the bar. Jac felt like she'd been punched in the stomach. She put her head back against the head rest, and swallowed hard. How could I be so bloody stupid! Dr High and mighty had already got her claws into Joseph._

_Jac was seething, she put the keys in the ignition and drove straight home again._

_Meanwhile Louise and Joseph are chatting at the bar._

JOSEPH: So how do you think your first few months at Holby have gone so far?

LOUISE: Pretty well, everyone seems friendly enough.(With the odd exception, I think we know who I mean.)

_Joseph smiles wryly as he sips red wine._

JOSEPH: Yes quite. Jac's like a fungus, hard to shake off, but she grows on you eventually.

LOUISE: Hmm, I'll bare that in mind next time she gives me a mouthful of venom!

_Michael walks in._

MICHAEL: Hey guys, sorry I'm late. Busy day at work, you know how it is. Can I get you two another drink?

LOUISE: I'll get them in. By the way where are Elliot and Jac?

MICHAEL: Elliot sends his apologies, but something came up at the last minute. As for Naylor, she's probably just getting her broom stick ready. _Winks at Louise._ Na, I'm only kiddin' she's not all that bad. Isn't that right Joseph?

JOSEPH: Of course not. Actually I might just give her a call, see where she is. Excuse me a moment.

_Jac's sitting curled up on the sofa, with a cup of Horlicks, deep in thought. Only to be disturbed by the phone ringing. She let it go through to the answering machine._

JAC: Hi, sorry I can't answer your call, but leave a message. I'll get back to you, thanks._ BEEP._

JOSEPH: Um Jac it's Joseph, I was wondering where you had got to, call me when you get this, please?

_Joseph received a text five minutes later. It read simply- Sorry can't come. Jac_

_Jac put the radio on. This next song is Strange and Beautiful by Aqualung._

#  
I've been watching your world from afar,  
I've been trying to be where you are,  
And I've been secretly falling apart,  
Unseen  
To me, you're strange and you're beautiful,  
You'd be so perfect with me,  
But you just can't see,  
You turn every head but you don't see me,

I'll put a spell on you,  
You'll fall asleep,  
When I put a spell on you,  
And when I wake you I'll be the first thing you see,  
And you'll realise that you love me,

Yeah,  
Ye-ah,

Sometimes the last thing you want comes in first,  
Sometimes the first thing you want never comes,  
But I know that waiting is all you can do,  
Sometimes,

I'll put a spell on you,  
You'll fall asleep,  
When I put a spell on you,  
And when I wake you I'll be the first thing you see,  
And you'll realise that you love me,

I'll put a spell on you,  
You'll fall asleep,  
Cause I put a spell on you,  
And when I wake you I'll be the first thing you see,  
And you'll realise that you love me, yeah,

Yeah,  
Ye-ah,  
Yeah,  
Ye-ah.

_By the end of the song Jac had tears rolling down her face. The lyrics matched exactly how she felt._

**please review this I would love your feedback. Thanks**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for your reviews. I hope you enjoy this.**

Best Of Enemies

_A patient is taken up to Darwin, the patient has Cystic Fybrosis. _

ELLIOT: Ah and here we have Nick Cooper, I am very sorry to keep you waiting. It's been busier than usual in here today, Elliot Hope by the way.

NICK: Pleased to meet you, and don't worry Nurse Jackson has kept me company, (she could _talk for England.) Starts to laugh but struggles for breath. Elliot puts the oxygen mask back on._

ELLIOT: Easy now, I don't want you passing out on me, if you could lean forward for me please? Hmm your chest doesn't sound too great at the moment. Are you still on Antibiotics?

NICK: Yep, but I can't seem to shake off this chest infection, I was doing well before that, but it's knocked me for six.

ELLIOT: Well we'll see what we can do. Perhaps a change of medication is required.

_Elliot's pager bleeps._

ELLIOT: Duty calls I'm afraid, but I will get Mr Byrne to keep an eye on you.

_Joseph's talking to Jac on Keller._

JOSEPH: It's a shame you couldn't make it last night, I was looking forward to it.

JAC: I wasn't feeling well, must have been a 24 hour bug.

JOSEPH: Oh, I see, well maybe we could do it again another time? I know Louise was disappointed when you couldn't make it.

_Jac pulls a face. _

JOSEPH: Oh come on Jac, don't be like that. Louise hasn't been here for very long, and you're already treating her like an outcast, for some reason.

JAC: She's only been here for 5 minutes, and she's strutting around like she's running this hospital.

JOSEPH: Louise is a team player, and a very good Doctor.

JAC: _Laughs bitterly. _She's got you wrapped around her little finger!_ Jac starts to walk off, and then turns round._ You never learn do you? _Walks away._

_Joseph's left looking angry and confused. Elliot passes him._

ELLIOT: Ah Joseph, I need you to monitor Nick Cooper. He has a severe chest infection, due to Cystic Fybrosis. I have to be in theatre, with Connie.

JOSEPH: Yes, of course.

_Joseph walks into Darwin, with Jac's words ringing loudly in his ears. Even though she'd softened a little, she still had the uncanny ability to make him feel absolutley livid._

NICK: Are you Mr Byrne?

JOSEPH: Yes.

NICK: You sure?

_Joseph looks perplexed._

NICK: Crikey I'm only pulling your leg! You look as bad I feel. OH NO don't tell me... the world's going to end!

CHRISTINE: (Nick's Mother) He's a real joker is this one, Nick can never take anything seriously. I am proud of him though.

NICK: Mum stop it will you? As much as I love you, you are so embarrassing.

CHRISTINE: Typical 19 year old. Anyway how's he doing?

JOSEPH: Not too badly, but I'll have to monitor him closely.

_2 hours later. Nick's condition gets a lot worse. Christine sits with her son, who is now unconcious._

CHRISTINE: He has always been my little boy, and he's always lived life to the full. Nick's moto is, live life without regrets.

JOSEPH: I admire his outlook on life. Nick's lucky to have someone like you.

_Nick's heart monitor bleeps._

JOSEPH: Nurse Jackson, please page Mr Hope quickly!

CHRISTINE: What's happening? Tell me please!

JOSEPH: He has stopped breathing, we will do all we can for Nick._ Starts to do heart compressions as Nick goes into VF._

CHRISTINE: _Tears are rushing down her face, as Donna takes her out of the room._ Please save my son, please!_ The last few words she choked on._

_About 20 minutes later Joseph had to break the terrible news that, despite their best efforts Nick Cooper had not made it. No matter how many times he had given the worst news to people, It never did get any easier..._

_Louise prepares for the late shift she sees Jac, who has finished her shift, and walks over._

LOUISE: _Smiles._ Hey Jac,shame you couldn't make it last night, and look I apologise if I seemed short with you the other day. I was just trying to do a good job.

_Jac looks stoney faced._

JAC: You may have fooled Joseph and Michael, but believe me I'm different, it takes more than a smile and a few friendly chats to impress me! I know your type.

LOUISE: Excuse me? I don't know exactly what your problem is, but I SUGGEST you sort it out!

_Louise storms off, and slams the door shut._

_Jac crosses the car park, when she spots Joseph._

JAC: Not going out tonight then Joseph? I thought you would be taking your new girlfriend out.

JOSPEPH: _Replies angrily. _Look I'm not in the mood for this! And for your infomation she is not my girlfriend.

JAC: Actually I can see why she wouldn't be your thing, I forgot you only go for wet dull women, like Faye for example._ Smiles sweetly._

JOSEPH: I think they must have made a mistake. When they said they'd take out a kidney, it must have been your heart instead. Just when I thought you had changed, you do, or say something and I don't recognise you again, in fact I DESPISE you sometimes.

_Jac bites her lip and fights back tears._

JAC: At least I'm honest with myself! I'm not denying my feelings.

JOSEPH: You and feelings, Don't make me laugh, you are emotionally dead!

_Joseph walks away, Jac follows him._

JAC: Joseph please, you are the only one who understands me the only person who's never given up on me. I love you Joe, please don't walk away from me now._ Her voice was breaking as she said it._

JOSEPH: Save it Jac, I'm not interes-

_Joseph didn't finish his sentence. The screech of tyres followed my an enormous bang, made his blood run cold..._


	4. Chapter 4

Hanging By A Thread

_Joseph spun round, as he did so, he felt sick. He watched, in horror as the car which had ploughed into Jac drove off without stopping. His world seemed to stop as he tried to make sense of what had just happened. Joseph was numb, his legs refused to move, he stood like a statue for what seemed like an eternity, but in reality it was only a few seconds. He suddenly snapped into action. Joseph ran over to Jac, who's body was twisted and limp, and apparently lifeless. Joseph knelt down beside Jac, and felt frantically on her neck for a pulse. There wasn't one. He immediately starts doing CPR. _

JOSEPH: Come on Jac, don't do this to me! COME ON, stay with me, breath for me. _Breaths firmly into her mouth four times._ You're not leaving, you're a fighter._ . He breaths. Joseph repeats this 6 times. Please God this can't be happening!_

_Louise comes running over._

LOUISE: Joseph! I'll get a trolley, is she breathing?

JOSEPH: No I can't find a pulse, we need to hurry up, she's also got severe abdominal bleeding.

_Joseph and Louise lift Jac very carefully onto the trolley,leaving behind a large pool of blood on the tarmac. Joseph places an oxygen mask onto Jac, keeping a steady rhythm with his hands, as he pumps Jac with oxygen. They wheel Jac through the automatic doors. Joseph checks again for a pulse. To his immense relief he finds a very faint, but definite pulse._

JOSEPH: She's back I can feel a very weak pulse. We need to get her into theatre, and fast!

_Ric Griffin sees them._

RIC: What the hell has happened? _He looks down and realises the patient is Jac Naylor._

JOSEPH: Jac's been involved in a hit and run, she has abdominal injuries as well as possible head trauma._ Joseph was doing his best to sound calm, but he felt like his voice was betraying how he truely felt, utterly terrified._

RIC: I'll take over now, Louise can assist me. We need to act quickly.

JOSEPH: I'd rather be in theatre I **need** to make sure she's going to be OK.

RIC: You're in no fit state to do this operation, you've just had a major shock.

JOSEPH: I can do this, I know I-

_Louise puts her hand gently, but firmly on Joseph's shoulder._

LOUISE: Joseph Ric's right, we need to give Jac every chance possible chance._ Louise starts to walk away._

JOSEPH: Look after her, please?

LOUISE: We will, try not to worry.

_Joseph has tears in his eyes. As he watches Ric and Louise disappear behind the theatre doors. He looks down at his hands. For the first time he realises both of them are shaking badly. He startles as he feels a hand on him. He turns round and sees Elliot Hope._

ELLIOT: I've just heard about Jac's accident, I'm so sorry Joseph, if there's anything I can do, don't hesitate to ask.

JOSEPH:_(Shakes his head slowly). _It's all my fault..._ Breaks down in tears. Elliot takes a distraught Joseph to his office, and shuts the door._

ELLIOT: You can't blame yourself, you do know that don't you? At least you were there, you helped Jac when she needed you.

JOSEPH: If I hadn't been there, she wouldn't be in theatre now, fighting for her life! We were arguing you see. Jac had been doing what she does best. Getting me wound up, reminding me what a failure I am. I was so angry I walked away, turned my back on her. Like everyone else. I hated her. She then told me that she loved me! Just before that I said she was emotionally dead. The truth is: I _thought _I hated Jac, especially after everything she has put me, and my family through.

ELLIOT: Sometimes it is only through adversity that we then realise what we are looking for.

JOSEPH: But it may be too late._ Looks down as fresh tears start to fall. Elliot puts his arm around Joseph._

ELLIOT: You must stay positive Joseph, you can't afford to think the worst.

_Joseph stares straight ahead._

JOSEPH: I can't lose her Elliot, not now...


	5. Chapter 5

A Leap Of Faith

**I hope you enjoy this.**

_Joseph was staring at the clock on the wall. It was nearly midnight. He had decided not to go home, Elliot had told him he must go and get some much needed sleep. But he knew he would find sleep impossible. The events of the last few hours had made him question so many things. Joseph's emotions were all over the place. He doubted himself at the best of times, but now he felt totally lost and alone. Elliot had offered to stay with him, but Joseph had declined the offer, saying he needed to be alone. _

_Joseph kept hearing the screeching of tyres in his head. Jac's last few words echoing in his mind, Despite his attempts to ignore them, he couldn't._

_"You are the only person who's never given up on me, I love you Joe, please don't walk away from me now."_

_But Joseph did walk away, and he would have to live with that fact. Jac was a lot of things, but even Joseph had to admit, she had been truthful, at least with him over the recent past. Jac had been through so much, finding her Mother, donating a kidney, Joseph wasn't quite sure what had gone wrong. Michael Spence hadn't said much, but from what Joseph could gather, Paula Burrows had used her daughter as nothing more than a live organ donor. Before disappearing back to India. As if abandoning her when she was 12 wasn't enough. Giving her even more of a reason to close rank, and generally behave like she didn't give a damn about anything, or anyone. Of course Joseph had seen Jac at her bitchy backstabbing worst, indeed he still bore the scars. Many years had past, but he doubted whether he could __**ever**__ forgive her for sleeping with his father. On the flip side, Jac had shown glimpses of the person behind the mask. The lockdown was still etched in his memory. Jac had put her cards on the table, opened up. Admitted her mistakes. Jac said she loved him, that was the turning point for Joseph. Yet he still, even then couldn't bring himself to fully forgive her. _

_The door opened, Ric came in, looking serious._

RIC: Jac made it through the surgery, but there were unforseen complications, her leg took the full impact of the car, it was still weak from the motorbike accident a few years ago. I am afraid we had no other option, but to amputate the limb. Add to that the stress her body has already been put under from donating a kidney..

_Joseph was trying hard to digest this news, on the one hand he was so relieved Jac had pulled through the operation, but also felt sickened by the fact she had lost her leg._

JOSEPH: But she will live, won't she?

RIC: The next 24 hours will be critical, but providing there are no more setbacks she should regain conciousness.

JOSEPH: Can I see her now, please?

RIC: Yes of course.

_Joseph walks slowly down the corridor to ITU. He walks in and sees Jac attached to various machines and monitors. He walks over and sits by her bed. He takes one of her hands in both of his._

JOSEPH: What are you trying to do to me? You always do know how to get my attention. I'm so sorry Jac, Please for forgive me?

_Joseph, not for the first time that night, starts to cry._


	6. Chapter 6

If Buts And Maybes

_The sun had just started to rise, it had been a very long night. Louise Carter was coming to the end of a very traumatic nightshift. She walked into ITU. She saw Joseph, who was sitting beside Jac's bed in the chair. He had fallen asleep. It was obvious Joseph had been there all night. Louise taps him on the shoulder._

LOUISE: Wake up, Joseph.

_Joseph jerks awake, at first he's not sure where he is._

JOSEPH: Where am I? What's going on?

LOUISE: It's alright, don't panic. You're still at the hospital, you've been here all night.

JOSEPH: Oh I must have fallen asleep. How's Jac doing?

LOUISE: Well, all things considered she's doing pretty well. She's not out of woods yet though. We have to make sure the amputation wound heals properly.

JOSEPH: I'm not sure how Jac will react when she finds out she's lost her leg, she's been through enough trauma.

LOUISE: I must admit, there were times in theatre that Ric and I thought she wouldn't make it. But all credit to her, she's obviously made of very strong stuff.

JOSEPH: Jac's not as strong as everyone assumes she is, believe me I know. It's all just a front, a form of defence. So she doesn't have to get hurt _again._ Or people let her down, when they swore they would never ever do it again.

_There was a sad, but very angry edge to Joseph's voice, Louise had never heard before. Joseph started opening and closing his hands. He was looking very agitated his eyes were slightly bloodshot._

LOUISE: Why don't you go home now Joseph? You must be exhausted. I'm sure Mrs Beauchamp will keep you updated on Jac's condition if there's any change.

JOSEPH: No, I'm staying put. I owe her that much, at the very least. I'll stay until she wakes up.

LOUISE: You don't owe her anything Joseph. With all due respect, if you hadn't of been there, Jac would undoubtedly be dead already.

JOSEPH: Well forgive me if I don't feel like blowing my own trumpet right now. I still maintain, that I'm partially to blame for the condition she's currently in.

LOUISE: Look, I'm not sure why you're intent on giving yourself such a hard time. I'm just stating the facts. My advice is, cut yourself some slack.

JOSEPH: Yes well, it's easier said than done. In some ways she brings out the worst in me. My feelings for Jac have never been simple. For years I've fought emotional battles, not only with Jac, but with myself. In many ways we end up doing exactly the same thing, because we have either been hurt by one another, or by someone else. So we both end up shutting people out, be it intentional or otherwise.

_Louise was slightly unsure whether to ask the next question. But in the end decided to ask it anyway._

LOUISE: Do you love her?

_Joseph shifts in his seat, as he grapples with an answer he'd been asking himself over the years, and as yet, a clear cut response still seemed impossible._

LOUISE: It's a simple answer to a straight forward question. Do you love Jac, yes or no?

JOSEPH: Believe me, if I knew the answer to that question, my life would be so much easier.

LOUISE: How about if I ask whether you'd like a coffee then? You look as though you could do with one, and to be honest I need one as well!

JOSEPH:_ Smiles. _Thanks that would be great. By the way sorry for rambling on so much!

_Louise walks towards the door, before turning around._

LOUISE: Don't worry about it, what are friends for? But please Joseph, stop blaming yourself for what has happened, what's done is done. You can't change the past. You must be strong now more then ever. Not only for you, Jac will need you, whether she admits it or not.

JOSEPH: I'm determined to be here for Jac, she's been on her own for far too long. But not anymore. Not this time...

**I've got a few ideas about where this story could go. Please review this Thanks.**


	7. Chapter 7

Bittersweet Love

_Joseph was looking out of the window, the sky was grey and the rain had gradually got heavier. The raindrops were running down the window pane starting off slowly, before gathering speed as they reached the bottom. Joseph was tracing the patterns with his finger. He hadn't done this since he was a young child, whenever he felt upset or nervous about something, it had always made him feel calmer, more in control. Joseph wasn't sure if it was having the desired effect this time though. He looked at his watch, Connie was due to give him the latest assessment on Jac's condition in half an hour. Joseph hadn't left Jac's bedside since she'd been out of theatre. He sat back down, The sound of the ventilator and the steady beep of the monitors were the only sounds in the room. He rubbed his neck, which was stiff and achey from spending a fourth consecutive night trying in vain to sleep in a hard chair. But he felt compelled to stay._

JOSEPH: Jac, You are without doubt the strongest person I know, you know that? not to mention stubborn. I know you will fight this with all the strength that you can muster, you've got more courage than most. If you were awake now I bet you'd tell me to get lost. Not that I'd blame you after what happened, I fully expect you to be angry with me. The truth is, you make me feel so conflicted. I've never known anyone quite like you, when I'm with you it feels like my emotions have been thrown into a washing machine, spinning out of my control. I know I'm haunted by what you've done to me in the past. But I also realise I must learn to let go. Otherwise it will continue to consume me forever. I've tried hating you,I've even tried indifference. But when I saw you lying in that car park, I felt... fear. I couldn't face losing you because I do care about you, I just don't know how to express myself very clearly. All I can say is, no one makes me feel the way you do.

_Connie Beauchamp walks in._

CONNIE: Morning Joseph, I have good news about Jac's condition. Her leg is healing well and there's no sign of infection from the amputation, also the MRI scans show no indication of brain damage. As you know Jac is in a medically induced coma. But I think she is strong enough to come off the ventilator. The plan is, to wake her up today.

JOSEPH: That's such a relief, Who's going to tell her about the amputation?

CONNIE: Well we will have to tread very carefully she probably won't be told straight away. She will be in severe pain when she does come round, we'll try to manage that with morphine. You are probably aware that some people experience 'phantom' Syndrome, where they think the limb is still there - when it has actually been removed. Or perhaps she won't remember the accident.

JOSEPH: What about the prospect of a prosthetic limb being fitted?

CONNIE: That is an option, for a later date, first of all Jac needs to come to terms with what has happened. I know she is mentally strong, but she will need physical and mental support.

JOSEPH: If I know Jac she'll try and get through this on her own, she's so stubborn.

CONNIE Nobody knows how she will react to this.

JOSEPH: if she remembers the accident, I've got a pretty good idea that I'll be in the firing line! But who else has she got to rely on? No one...

_2 hours later Jac starts to wake up from the coma, after she's taken off the ventilator._

CONNIE: Jac it's Connie, if you can hear me I want you to try and squeeze my hand, can you do that for me?

_Jac lightly squeezes Connie's hand, making Joseph smile._

_Jac opens her eyes, she tries to speak and looks at Joseph._

JAC: (_Quitetly but forcefully) _I don't want you here.

_Joseph's taken by surprise at Jac's tone of voice._

JOSEPH: Jac, _please_, I know you must feel angry.

JAC: Mrs Beauchamp, can you tell him he's no longer required, he can leave now!

JOSEPH: Jac wait, I NEED to talk to you.

_Jac avoids eye contact with Joseph, staring at the ceiling._

CONNIE: Maybe it's best if you do leave now, Jac's not ready for this conversation at the moment OK?

JOSEPH: But I-

CONNIE: I will not ask you twice Mr Byrne, leave now. Go home and get some rest. Come back tomorrow.

_Joseph turns on his heels opens the door, and walks down the corridor. His mind in turmoil..._

**Please review this. Thanks**


	8. Chapter 8

Treading On Eggshells

_The words seemed to go straight through her, Jac felt like she was hearing the conversation from deep underwater. Connie's voice was muffled, distorted beyond all recognition. The words Connie had just spoken, had gone in, but were not accepted by Jac's mind. She was in so much pain her thoughts were fuzzy and muddled. _

_"We had no other choice, I'm afraid we had to amputate your leg, I'm very sorry."_

_After that Jac had switched off, she didn't want to hear anymore._

CONNIE: Jac, I can imagine this must be a terrible shock, but when you feel ready we can help you. It will take time for it all to sink in.

JAC: I've said it before, I don't need anyone's help! I'll deal with this on my own. It's nothing new, I've done it in the past so I'll do it again.

CONNIE: Jac I admire your fortitude, but you've got to realise it's not possible to go through such a massive change without physical, and perhaps even more importantly psychological support.

JAC:_(Sneers) _If the day comes when I need any support of any sort, that will be the day I let go of my life, throw in the towel and give up, but I'm telling you right now, as long as there is breath in me that will **NEVER **happen!

CONNIE: There is absolutley nothing wrong with accepting help, I can understand you finding it difficult. You are not used to this, I know you have an iron will. But there will come a time when you will see that asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but actually a sign of strength.

JAC: (_claps sarcastically) _How very touching but please, save me from the motivational speeches, they tend to make me want to vomit!

_Connie looks slightly offended by Jac's behaviour. She walks out of the room, without saying a word. She almost walks into Joseph._

CONNIE: If you're going to see Ms Naylor, I strongly suggest that you bide your time, she's not in a good frame of mind. I've just told her about the amputation.

JOSEPH: I really must see her, I can't leave things the way they are now.

CONNIE: Well don't say I didn't warn you, if you go and see her right now you'll be in danger of severe frostbite.

_Joseph grimaces, knowing full well what Connie had said was no exaggeration._

_Joseph nods, before taking a deep intake of breath._

JOSEPH: I'll take my chances.

CONNIE: You are either brave, or stupid I can't decide which.

_Joseph opens the door, feeling uneasy. Jac stares at Joseph with those steely green eyes. He was left in no doubt what that 'look' meant. He clears his throat, ready for the pure bile that he fully expects to come shooting in his direction._

JAC: Connie said it was you who resuscitated me in the car park?

JOSEPH: That's correct. _Shifts awkwardly from one foot to the other._

JAC: I'm surprised you weren't doing a victory jig, shouting yay the witch is dead.

JOSEPH: Jac you couldn't be more wrong, I was utterly petrified. I didn't want to lose you!

JAC(Chuckles) Funny that, and there was me thinking, you didn't give a toss about me. What was the last thing you said? Oh yes how could I forget? You despise me! At least I now know your true feelings.

JOSEPH: You've got every right to feel bitter, but you know deep down, I was angry when I said those things. I wish I could take back those words but I can't.

JAC: That's what I liked about your father he always had the guts to admit how he really felt. Unlike you, he never made pathetic excuses!

_Joseph turns away, trying not to let his anger show. Because he knew Jac was trying to rile him._

JAC:(_Mock concern in her voice) _What's the matter Joseph, touched a nerve have I?

_Joseph grits his teeth, and turns round to face the woman who was intent on spitting venom at him from every angle._

JOSEPH: Stop it Jac. I KNOW what you're trying to do, you're hurting, so in turn you hurt me. I can see why you're lashing out. Please believe me when I tell you I do care about you.

JAC: The only reason you saved me, was so you would have one less thing to feel guilty about. Lets face it you still carry the blame for your brother's death, as well as not being there when your father needed you. Where were you then? Doing the typical Byrne thing, of burying your head in the sand, hoping that anything you didn't like would just go away.

_Joseph was loathed to admit that most of what Jac said was indeed true. He still struggled to come to terms with both deaths. One thing he was sure of though, he hadn't saved Jac through guilt. He finally decided to bite the bullet._

JOSEPH: You want to know the real reason why I couldn't bare to let you go! Because even though you drive me clinically insane with your sniping, cutting remarks, and your, at times warped behaviour. I do love you.

_Jac had shown no outward sign of emotion apart from hatred, and a burning sense of anger. Now though tears began to fall. Pain began to overwhelm her, only this time it was not just physical pain, which she had coped with thus far. But mental anguish, here was the man she had loved for so long finally telling her that in spite of everything he did love her. But Jac couldn't return those simple words. In her eyes Joseph had turned her life upside down by rejecting her just over a week ago, he may as well have been driving the car that had hit her and left her for dead. Jac heard the following words come out of her mouth before she could stop herself._

JAC: You can go and jump off a cliff for all I care!

_Joseph pauses choosing his words very carefully he said... _

JOSEPH: You can slam shut as many doors in my face as you wish. But I will keep knocking until you let me in...

**Thanks for the reviews. I hope you enjoy this.**


	9. Chapter 9

Facing Up To Reality

**A/N Faye is not pregnant in this fic. She is now with Linden. **

_"You can slam as many doors in my face as you wish, but I will keep knocking until you let me in"._

_Joseph's words were stuck in Jac's head, like a CD that was on 'repeat' mode. She really had not expected him to say that. Especially after what she had spat at him. Jac knew she would have found it easier if Joseph had fought back and told her to 'get stuffed'. But oh no, he had finally said it. That word, the one word he previously could not bring himself to say, he had of course come close before. No more so than the lockdown,but even then the seriousness of their plight couldn't force Joseph to actually say the words I love you out loud. Instead Joseph had plunged headlong into a marriage that was doomed from the off. That was perhaps the reason why Jac was so reluctant to accept or to listen to his pleas for forgiveness now. How many times had Faye spun him lie after lie, Pretend that nothing was her fault, plead her innocence and have the sheer nerve to claim she was a victim of bad circumstances! Joseph had continually swallowed whatever line Faye had fed him, as the evidence steadily mounted that she just couldn't be trusted. Jac knew she was hardly an angel in all of this, her actions had driven Joseph into the arms of Faye in the first place. Looking back, it had all seemed so easy. She had arrived at Holby with one ambition, one soul aim, the consultant's post. Nothing and nobody was going to get in her way. _

_In fact, Jac's first impression of Joseph was unflattering to say the least. He was supposed to be a high-flying doctor,but at times his lack of confidence or self belief in his own ability said otherwise. Joseph would never cut corners or tread on any toes to get where he wanted to be. He'd smile politely and wait his turn, like a good boy. At the time Jac thought he had no real ambition. Jac of course was the exact opposite. She was never afraid to ruffle a few feathers, or do whatever it took as long she made steady progress up the career ladder. Who cares if people got hurt in the process? Life was too short to hang around and see if any opportunities would land in her lap. Jac had to look out for number one, after all no one else was going to. At the beginning of her relationship with Joseph Byrne, she saw him as nothing more than the next stepping stone to her never ending quest for promotion. Of course she was physically drawn to him, she even found his quirks stangely endearing after a while. 'Love' was not something on her agenda. Jac had always found romance, a hindrance, something she had neither the time nor the patience to be bothered with. Having said that she did get closer to Joseph than she'd ever allowed anyone else to be. Yet domestic bliss was never going to be enough for Jac Naylor. It was then she made a concious choice - one that would only benefit her long - term career prospects. The decision to start a 'relationship' with Lord Byrne was, in hindsight the single worst decision Jac had made in her life. She regretted that choice more than any other... Made worse as her feelings for Joseph began to creep up on her again, she knew she had totally wrecked her one chance to experience what true happiness really felt like with someone. It was only when it was far too late did the full consequences of what she had done hit her..._

_Jac was snapped out of her painful memories, as Louise Carter came into her room._

LOUISE: How are you doing?

JAC: (_Sarcastically) _I'm on top of the world, thanks.

LOUISE: I can only imagine what you must be going through, I just need to put some fresh bandanges on the wound. How's the pain?

JAC: On a scale of one to ten, probably seven, yesterday I'd say it was nearer nine.

LOUISE: Well that's a good sign, but we'll try and reduce that pain further.

_Jac braces herself as Louise pulls back the blankets. Jac hadn't dared look at what remained of her leg since the accident. Her upper leg looked normal enough, the knee joint was still in tact, Below that was a white bandange where her lower leg should have been. Jac winced in pain as Louise removed and replaced the dressing as carefully as she could._

LOUISE: There we go, it's all done. Depending on how you feel tomorrow you could use a wheelchair. I expect you are sick of staring at blank walls.

JAC: Yeah you can say that again!

LOUISE: Joseph keeps asking after you by the way - even though he saw you yesterday. He's still devastated by what happened.

JAC: it's guilt, that's all.

LOUISE: I get the impression, he cares a lot about you, the way he has spoken about you recently says as much.

JAC: We have a lot of history, it's complicated.

LOUISE: You can tell me to get lost here, but I think you both need to say what you mean, and mean what you say.

_Jac swallows a lump in her throat._

JAC: We do too much damage to each other.

LOUISE: It seems to me, not only are you intent on punishing Joseph, but yourself as well. Whatever you've done to each other, maybe it's time to let go.

_Louise gives Jac a friendly pat on the shoulder, leaving Jac to get lost in her thoughts once more..._


	10. Chapter 10

Breaking Down The Barriers

_Jac had been awake for just over 3 hours, her mind constantly going over the events that had changed her life forever. Why did this have to happen to her? Jac wasn't used to all this sympathy, in fact she hated it. People saying how sorry they were, or 'I really don't know how you're coping so well with all this, I'm sure I couldn't do it'. By far the worst comment had to be 'I do admire you'. It made her shudder, why couldn't people just act normally around her, instead of saying things they felt they __**had **__to say because it was the standard thing to do. Jac was actually looking forward to getting out of bed. Today was the first time she had woken up feeling quite positive, the pain had reduced considerably, giving her the chance of a decent nights sleep in a week and a half. She knew it was going to be a long hard road ahead. Her biggest worry was, what was going to happen when she finally got discharged from the hospital. She knew she would have to accept help. She couldn't go back to her flat - Jac bemoaned the fact she lived on the third floor, without a lift._

_Joseph walks in pushing a wheelchair._

JOSEPH: Hello, I thought I'd give you hand, you look so much better today.

JAC: Shouldn't you be working or something?

JOSEPH: I have the day off, on the strict orders of Mrs Beauchamp.

JAC: Lucky me, I get to have you fussing over me like a mother hen. Deep joy!

JOSEPH: Now Jac, don't be obstructive. You know what I can be like with difficult patients.

JAC: Force them to surrender with your charm and politeness no doubt. You may find me harder to please Mr Byrne.

JOSEPH: I'm ready for anything you care to throw at me Ms Naylor. As long as you remember - I'm the doctor and you're the patient. _He smiles._

JAC:(_Smiles much to Joseph's relief)_ It doesn't mean I have to do as you tell me.

JOSEPH: On the contrary, I think you'll find it does.

_Joseph is relieved at Jac's slight change of attitude._

_Joseph helps Jac into a standing position, he puts her arm around his shoulders for extra support. Jac puts some of her weight on her left leg, it feels weaker then she expects. Joseph can feel her wobble as she makes her way over to the wheelchair. He tightens his grip around Jac's waist. He gently helps her turn round and sit down._

JOSEPH: When you've regained your strength in the left leg you will be able to use crutches.

JAC: As long as I don't spend too much time in this chair, I don't care what I use.

JOSEPH: Right, as it's my day off, how about I treat you to coffee and a sandwich in the canteen?

JAC: Whoa! you are really pushing the boat out aren't you? I'm surprised you haven't got anything better to do on your day off?

JOSEPH: I just thought you'd like a change of scene that's all.

_Joseph puts a shoe on Jac's left foot, as well as giving her a jumper. The trouser leg on her right side hangs loosely over the stump. Joseph opens the door for Jac and she wheels herself down the corridor. It's the first time she's been out of ITU since the accident. Jac felt very self concious, as though she had been locked up in a cage - and then released into the mercy of a different world. Jac had walked down this corridor so many times. But it had all changed now of course. _

_Sensing Jac's unease, Joseph gives her a reasuring glance._

JOSEPH: It will be OK, you'll be fine.

_Jac fights the urge to turn round and go back to what she knew._

_They sit down with their coffee and sandwiches, for a couple of minutes they say nothing. Jac breaks the silence._

JAC: Look Joseph, about the things I said to you the other day-

JOSEPH: You really don't need to explain-

JAC: Let me finish, please. I was so angry and confused, I wanted someone to blame, someone to vent my fustrations at. Not just because of the accident, but for everything else. I never feel like I get a second chance, I didn't with my mother and that hurt me, it took so much effort for me to let her back in. As you know I'm not good at forgiveness, but I just wanted to try. Only for her to up and leave. I should have seen it coming, but I didn't want to believe she would just take the kidney and run.

JOSEPH: No one deserves that, especially not from their own mother.

JAC: Maybe it was my punishment, for screwing everything up so badly, especially with you.

JOSEPH: It wasn't only you, who messed up. I spent so much time chasing shadows with Faye. I was hiding my true feelings from you because I was scared to you let you back in after everything...

JAC: You gave Faye so many chances, and yet even when I begged you twice, you've turned me down.

_Jac's voice was now quivering as she fought so hard not to scream, "Why didn't you give __**me**__ a second chance?"_

JOSEPH: I know, with the benefit of hindsight I should never have married Faye, and I did have doubts - but I just thought I was being over cautious. Even when everything was flashing warning signs at me. I thought Faye would help me get over you, but now I realise I made a huge mistake. I knew I'd chosen the wrong person to be with. But I didn't know how to fix things between you and me. As I said before you do drive me around the twist. But when I was sitting by your bedside in ITU... I just hoped you'd wake up (chuckles) even if you did throw insults at me.

_Jac's eyes are moist, as tears start to prickle her eyelids._

JAC: I know I can be a right cow sometimes.

_Joseph with a grin and a glint in his eye he says.._

JOSEPH: Really I hadn't even noticed!

JAC: _(Laughs) _Oi you! Seriously you've been the only person that I've opened up to. I never thought that would happen. You are so different from me, kind, honest, always ready to put your trust in someone. Then I come along and rip you, and you're family apart, for the sake of my ambition. And by the time I realise what I've done, and that I do love you it was too late... I'm so sorry.

_Jac's voice trails off. Joseph can see the sorrow and regret in her eyes, he reaches out across the table and holds her hand tightly._

JOSEPH: We've both been running in circles, trying to escape the past for different reasons. But lets put it behind us. You said earlier about not being given a second chance. Well here it is. I love you, I always will.

_Jac finally gives in and lets the tears flow freely down her face._

JAC: I promise I won't mess it up this time.

_Joseph gets up and hugs Jac, wiping her tears away with the pads of his thumb. His own voice cracking with emotion he says..._

JOSEPH: We'll make it this time, I know we will...

**Again I hope you enjoy this chapter. Please review. Thanks**


	11. Chapter 11

A Blessing In Disguise

_A week had passed since Jac and Joseph had finally revealed their true feelings in the canteen. It had been a lot easier than Jac had thought. Like a great burden had been lifted from her shoulders. But now she had another mountain to climb. Sitting in her chair staring at her stump, she did wonder how someone who had been so independent, strong willed and stubborn could suddenly change and become more accepting of people. It was Joseph who suggested that she should move in with him. He lived in a ground floor apartment. Jac had accepted the offer, if there was one person who she would allow to help her it had to be Joseph._

_Joseph walks in looking serious._

JOSEPH: I've just been talking to the police, they have arrested the driver that ran you down. He confessed straight away.

JAC: Good! I hope they lock the scumbag up and throw away the key!

JOSEPH: My sentiments exactly, are you ready to go?

JAC: As I'll ever be, I do appreciate this you know.

JOSEPH: I know.

_Joseph bent down and kissed Jac lightly on the lips - something he'd wanted to do for years, but only now was he able to do it. Knowing he didn't have to fight his feelings anymore was a great relief._

_Jac had almost forgotten what it felt like to be wanted. She smiled at Joseph. She was certain she was going to wake up from this and discover it was all a bizarre dream. She would have her leg, but no Joseph. _

JOSEPH: _(Smiles) _What are you grinning like that for?

JAC: I just can't believe this is happening!

_Jac manages to get up from the wheelchair using the crutches._

JOSEPH: Wow, look at you! You won't be needing the wheelchair soon. I should have known you can't keep Jac Naylor down for long.

JAC: You better believe it!

_Jac and Joseph walk out of the hospital. Joseph's arm is wrapped protectively around Jac's shoulders. They see Michael._

MICHAEL: Well well if that's not a sight for sore eyes. Good to see you up and about Naylor. I have to hand it to you Jac, you have more lives than a cat, you know that?

JAC:(Laughs) Yeah but I must have used up a few recently.

MICHAEL: You can say than again, if you lose any more vital organs or limbs there will nothin' left!

JAC: Ha ha very funny!

MICHAEL: Gotta go, I'll catch you guys later.

_Jac and Joseph walk across the car park, the sun is shining brightly, and the air is crisp and cold. Jac can't help but take a glance over to where her life so nearly ended. She shivers inwardly. Joseph rubs her arm comfortingly._

JOSEPH: Come on lets go home.

_Joseph helps Jac into the car, she realises how tired she feels, after walking the longest distance she had ever managed to do on the crutches. _

JAC: Blimey, I'm so relieved you parked near the door, any further and you'd have to carry me. I just wanted to walk out of here. I've spent enough time lying or sitting. It's been doing my head in.

JOSEPH: You never take the easy option, I am so proud of you, you've come such a long way.

_Jac looks at Joseph in a mildly disapproving manner saying in typical Jac fashion..._

JAC: I've only walked across the car park Joseph, not the surface of the moon.

_Joseph smiles as he shuts the car door._

_They arrive at Joseph's flat, after a 15 minute drive. Jac hobbles in, relieved that there are no steps to negotiate. She makes her way over to the sofa. For a moment an awkward silence descends on them both._

JOSEPH: I'll um, get your things from the car, I won't be long.

JAC: Yeah OK.

J_ac looks around the flat, it hadn't really changed much since Joseph had bought the place. There were some photos on the shelf in front of her. A family portrait of the Byrne's took pride of place. There was a photo of Archie and Joseph together grinning happily at the camera. But there was no trace of Faye to be seen. _

_Joseph walks in carrying Jac's bags._

JOSEPH: Would you like some tea? Something to eat maybe?

JAC: Tea would be great thanks.

_Joseph comes in ten minutes later with two hot mugs of tea. He sits down beside Jac on the sofa. They sip their tea._

JAC: What if I can't do this?

JOSEPH: You can, you're strong. You can't let what has happened defeat you.

JAC: I'm so used to being in control of my life, where I want to go, what I want to do. Suddenly the rug has been pulled out from under me. I took _so_ much for granted.

JOSEPH: I think we both did. But you've got to understand you are not alone in this, I'll be here.

JAC: I remember a time when you couldn't look me in the eye, if someone had told me this was going to happen I'd have laughed at them.

JOSEPH: Time changes things.

_Jac rests her head on Joseph's shoulder and shuts her eyes. He lightly strokes her head. Before long they both fall asleep..._

_By the time the they wake up, it's early evening. Joseph stirs awake first, he yawns. He looks at Jac who is still sleeping peacefully by him. He gently nudges her._

JOSEPH: Hey, wakey wakey,

JAC: Hmm? What time is it?

JOSEPH: 4:30. I'd almost forgotten how innocent you look when you sleep.

JAC: Shut up! _She punches Joseph playfully on the arm._

JOSEPH: I'm being serious! You hungry?

JAC: Starving actually.

JOSEPH: I'll go and do some pasta then.

_Joseph gets up and walks out to the kitchen, he whistles cheerfully as he prepares the food. _

JAC: Just don't burn it Byrne!

_Joseph pretends to look offended._

JOSEPH: Are you questioning my culinary skills?

JAC: Yes I am, last time you cooked,for me you nearly set this place on fire!

JOSEPH: That's a slight exaggeration I think you'll find-

_The conversation is cut short by a knock at the door._

JOSEPH: I'll get it.

_Joseph walks to the front door and opens it. The smile vanishes from his face, replaced by a look of surprise. His mouth is slightly open._

ANNE-MARIE: Hello darling, I hope you don't mind me dropping in? How are you?

JOSEPH: (_Clears his throat.) _Mother, what a lovely surprise.

_Joseph's voice sounds unconvincing even to him. Jac's voice comes through from the living room her crutches make a clacking sound as she makes her way to the door._

JAC: Who is it Joseph?

_Jac doesn't need a reply. Both woman stand frozen to the spot..._


	12. Chapter 12

Through Thick And Thin

_Anne-Marie's smile turned into a scowl as she set eyes on her nemesis, her face couldn't hide the pure disgust she felt. In fact it was closer to hatred. She could barely open her mouth to speak. When she finally did, her tone was cold._

ANNE-MARE: I didn't realise you had visitors Joseph?

JOSEPH: Yes, Jac needs my help.

_Anne-Marie looks at Jac up and down._

ANNE-MARIE: I see, and how long will _she _be staying with you for?

JOSEPH: Mother you're not going to like what I'm about to say. _Joseph pauses, he realises what he's about to say will go down like a lead balloon..._

JOSEPH: Jac and I, we've decided to try again. _Takes a very deep breath before continuing.. _We love each other.

_Anne-Marie's face turns to a dark shade of purple and her eyes narrow down to slits._

ANNE-MARIE: I can't believe I'm hearing this! After everything she has done - she blew our family apart. Have you forgotten what she did to you? To us? HAVE YOU?

JOSEPH: (_His voice rising) _I am sick and tired of holding grudges! It achieves nothing, apart from eating away at me, until there is nothing left but bitterness. I'm done with it mother!

ANNE-MARIE: (_Shouts) _Why now! Why her! What would your father say?

_Joseph shakes his heads angrily._

JOSEPH: DON'T YOU DARE BRING HIM INTO THIS! He was no saint believe me. How many fathers would sleep with their son's girlfriend?

_Joseph couldn't remember the last time he raised his voice to his mother. _

_Jac was sitting on the sofa, staring at the floor. Anne-Marie turned to face her. _

ANNE-MARIE: You do realise Joseph is only looking after you because he feels it's his duty? You're his project, something to keep his mind off Faye.

JOSEPH: Stop it, Jac knows the reason why she is here. She knows I have for forgiven her for what she has done. _His voice was now low. _You can't stand the fact that I have forgiven her, because you **Never **have forgiven dad. Even though he's been dead for three years.

ANNE-MARIE: You will have your heart broken again if you go ahead with this sham.

_Jac looked straight at Anne-Marie with a resolute look._

JAC: I won't hurt Joseph again Anne-Marie, I can promise you that. I know what I did in many people eyes was unforgiveable. But this is my chance to try and undo some of the damage that I caused. I can never turn back time and take back what I said or did. But Joseph makes me happy. I love him, and this time it's _**real**_ it's not for my personal gain anymore. For years I never thought he would forgive me, but all credit to him he's shown what kind of man he his. I am going to repay his faith in me.

_Anne-Marie looks at Jac with utter contempt._

ANNE-MARIE: I don't believe a single word you say, you're a lying scheming nasty slut, with absolutley no morals whatsoever.

_Jac can feel her throat tighten so she swallows hard. Anne-Marie's words had stung her, but she was not going to let it show, for Joseph's sake._

JOSEPH:(_His voice shaking with rage) _I think you should leave, before I do something I regret!

ANNE-MARIE: I never knew you could be such a gulliable fool. What are people going to say? Our family name is going to be tarnished yet again.

_Joseph nods his head in a mocking way and laughs._

JOSEPH: (_Sarcastically) _Oh of course, the family name. How could I bring the Byrne dynasty into such disrepute? All I have_** ever**_ tried to do is the right thing, to be a decent upstanding member of society. To make you proud of me. But all you care about is the Byrne name, and it's supposed status. I'll tell you something shall I? It means nothing NOTHING! to me now! I **LOVE **Jac I don't care what you say.

ANNE-MARIE: You are no longer my son! You are a disgrace.

_Joseph looks surprisingly calm. He had finally released all the anger he'd suppressed over the years._

JOSEPH: Go now. I don't need you anymore.

_Anne-Marie gets up and strides out of the flat without even looking at her son. Jac looks meaningfully at him._

JAC: No one has ever defended me like that before. Thank you.

JOSEPH: It's just you and me now Jac. The way it should be.

_Joseph kisses Jac with a passion he had never felt before..._


	13. Chapter 13

Letting Go Of The Past

_Jac was watching Joseph sleep beside her, gently she brushed her fingers over his shoulder. She should have been happy, she was finally with the love of her life. Joseph had told her what his mother had said to him was of no consequence, he insisted they were just words. Jac of all people knew how much damage 'just words' could do. The truth was part of her was terrified of loving him, finally letting her guard down had been so difficult and had taken so long. Joseph had seen past all the chaos and the extra baggage that came with loving someone like her. She didn't want to come between him and his family again, she had ruined the relationship between Joseph and his father, even though Lord Byrne was just as much to blame for what happened as she had been. Anne-Marie had said Joseph was only looking after her because he felt it was his 'duty'. That hurt more than any other thing she had said. The last thing Jac ever wanted was to feel like a burden to someone she loved so much. She could cope with anything but that. Joseph stirred awake._

_He opened his eyes. He kisses her, making her feel warm inside. Joseph looks at her, she was beautiful and those eyes... Joseph would never let her go again._

JAC: Joseph you're sure about this aren't you?

_Joseph looked at her earnestly._

JOSEPH: You already know the answer to that question Jac.

JAC: I don't want you to feel you've been forced into looking after me. That's the last thing I'd want.

_Joseph looks confused and slightly hurt._

JOSEPH: What on earth are you talking about? I'm not doing this through pity Jac.

JAC: It's just after what your mother said I-

JOSEPH: Forget what she said.

JAC: I can't.

JOSEPH: Look at me. I meant everythig I said. I've spent years trying to placate her. All she cares about is how this is going to make her look with her social set.

_Joseph starts to get dressed._

JAC: I'm scared Joseph. You know I hate saying that. It makes me sound weak and feeble.

_Joseph can't help but smile, as Jac battles to get her trousers on from a sitting position._

JOSEPH: Last time I checked it was not a crime to admit to being scared. Some might say it takes courage. Me being one of them.

_Jac looks at Joseph with that cynical look he'd seen so many times before._

JAC: (_Sharply) _That is typical of you. Forever the optimist. Look I'm sorry, I'm just not used to all this self doubt in my mind. I am really trying hard not be negative.

JOSEPH: I know you are. But whatever you are going through, I'll be right behind you. We are in this together.

_Jac can see Joseph is being genuine. She looks at him._

JAC: Can I ask you something?

JOSEPH: Fire away.

JAC: Why did you keep coming back to me?

_Joseph pauses before answering the question._

JOSEPH: It was always different with you. It was never the easy safe option. I can be myself with you. I don't have to pretend or be something that I'm not. You are the most challenging woman I have been with. It took me a long time to realise I wouldn't have it any other way. Now come on lets go and have some breakfast.

_They sit down to breakfast. Jac can tell that Joseph has something on his mind, he looks slightly nervous as he munches on toast. When he's finished he gets up. He looks slightly worried, before getting down on one knee. Jac chokes on her hot cup of coffee._

JOSEPH: Jac I love you, we have been through so much to get here. Will you make me the happiest man alive? P_auses_.

_Jac for once in her life is lost for words. Joseph pulls out the box from his pocket and reveals a very beautiful diamond ring. Jac opens her mouth but can't form any words._

JOSEPH: I know this is a massive shock, but to be honest I've wanted to do this for a while. Now everything has been swept clean, a fresh start. Will you marry me Jac?

JAC: I can't believe this, my God. Are you serious?

JOSEPH: (Grins) Absolutley. I mean it Jac, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. So do I get an answer?

_Jac takes a few seconds to regain some composure, through tears it finally comes._

JAC: Yes, of course I will. Nothing would make me happier. I love you too.

_Joseph with a very broad grin, slips the ring on Jac's trembling finger. Before they hold on to each other very tightly._

JOSEPH: Against all the odds we've made it.

JAC: We have I still don't believe it, but we've come full circle.

**Thank you to everyone who's reviewed and read this story, I really do appreciate all the feedback. I am thinking of doing one last wedding chapter. Let me know what you think.**


	14. Chapter 14

Soul Mates United

PART 1

_Jac was standing in front of a full length mirror, since her prosthetic leg had been fitted her confidence had come flooding back. She'd only been using it for six weeks, but it had made her life so much easier. Rather than using two crutches now she only needed one stick for support. Jac was taking daily walks to build up her strength, she hadn't told Joseph she planned to walk down the aisle without any sticks at all. Jac wanted to surprise him. She was about to get married in three days. All of this seemed surreal to Jac. Like it was happening to someone else. It had been six months since Joseph had proposed. Jac had no hesitation in accepting it. She could honestly say she'd never felt more contented or at ease with herself as she did now. The wedding was going to be a small and private occasion, with just a few colleagues from work. After Joseph's last car crash of a wedding, they both just wanted a quiet affair with no fuss. Joseph had gone to work. Jac herself had started to do some research on patients notes, she was going back to work in two weeks and she wanted to hit the ground running. Jac was excited but also slightly daunted by the prospect of returning to the hospital. But for now all she could think about was her impending marriage to Joseph. She smiled at the thought of being his wife. She was going to take the Byrne name, although she didn't think Jacqueline Byrne had quite the same ring to it. But it didn't matter - a change of name would represent a brand new start._

_There was a knock at the door, Jac opens the door to Michael who is grinning holding a large bunch of flowers._

MICHAEL: Hey Naylor, got these for ya!

_He gives Jac the flowers._

JAC: Thank you, they're lovely Michael, I'll go and put them in water. S_he walks out of the room to find something to put them in. She comes in, trying to hold a jug of water in one hand and her stick in the other. Michael walks over to help. Jac gives him a warning look._

JAC: Come any closer, and I shall empty this entire jug of water onto your head.

MICHAEL: I was only gonna ask if you needed a hand.

JAC: Yeah well don't, I need to start doing more things for myself. I've got a wedding to prepare for.

MICHAEL: Yeah, it's the talk of the whole hospital. Someone has finally gone and done it.

JAC: Gone and done what?

MICHAEL: Melted your frozen heart, I always knew there was one in there somewhere.

_Jac raises her eyebrows and can't help but smile._

JAC: Charming! _She pauses._ To be honest I never saw this coming - with Joseph he makes me feel different somehow. Like I belong, if that makes any sense.

MICHAEL: Gee Naylor, I never thought you'd go all soft on me. In fact your scaring me right now.

_Jac laughs._

JAC: I think I'm scaring myself too! Look Michael, I never really thanked you properly for everything you did for me. You know with my mum. If you hadn't have been there...

_Michael looks at her, his tone of voice becomes serious._

MICHAEL: Hey, I was just doing what anyone else would have done. I'm just glad things have finally worked out for you. You deserve it. Joseph's a lucky man!

_Jac hugs Michael._

MICHAEL: Well next time I see you you'll be a married woman Jac.

JAC: I know! I can't wait.

_Jac is busy dealing with a mountain of paperwork. It is early evening now. She glances at her watch and drums her fingers impatiently on the table. Joseph was due back in half an hour._

_There is a knock at the door. Jac sighs, she was not expecting any visitors. She gets up to answer the door and is more than a little surprised to see Anne-Marie staring straight back at her._

JAC: Anne-Marie? Joseph's not back from work yet. He won't be long-

ANNE-MARIE: Actually it's you I came to see.

_Anne-Marie spoke in clipped tones. Her manner seemed calm enough. But Jac got the distinct Impression she was bubbling with anger and resentment._

ANNE-MARIE: I hear you and Joseph are getting married?

JAC: Yes we are, in three days. How did you know?

ANNE-MARIE: I have my sources, as you know. I must admit I was a little shocked at the news. But Joseph always follows his heart rather than his head._ Pauses _Like his father.

JAC: I can see you don't agree with this. But I'm different now. For once someone has given me a second chance. I know what it feels like to lose Joseph. I never want to feel like that ever again.

ANNE-MARIE: Until you get another sniff of promotion, and you'll drop him like a hot potato!

_Jac nods her head firmly._

JAC: In the past yes, absolutley but not now. I swear to you Anne-Marie, I love your son and nothing will change that.

ANNE-MARIE: You see I don't think you know what love is? You're confusing love with lust. You're too twisted and damaged to love someone, and Joseph is too blind to see it, but he'll see sense eventually.

_Jac could the feel the anger rise, but she knew she couldn't give Anne-Marie the satisfaction of watching her crumble. She clears her throat._

JAC: Thanks to Joseph I do know what love is. You have no idea how long we have waited just to reach this point. I realise how lucky I am to be marrying him.

ANNE-MARIE: If you love Joseph as much as you say, then do the decent thing and walk away.

_Jac can't quite believe what she is hearing, and is even more disgusted as Anne-Marie hands her a cheque for £50,000 pounds._

JAC: (_Laughs) _What you seriously think I'd take that? That I'd walk away from the man I LOVE? If you think that then you are totally deluded. I wonder what Joseph would say, if he knew his own mother was trying to buy off his future wife?

_Jac takes the cheque and rips it up, leaving pieces scattered on the floor._

_Anne-Marie's face turns white, and she starts breathing in deeply, as her anger threatens to spill over._

JAC: Stuff your money, you have nothing now and you know it, that was your last resort and you failed.

_Anne-Marie can feel her head throbbing so hard it feels like it's going to explode. The last thing she can remember is Jac smirking as she collapses on the floor..._

**As this is my last chapter I have decided to do it in 2 parts. Part 2 will be coming soon.**


	15. Chapter 15

Soul Mates United

PART 2

_The smirk on Jac's face quickly turned to a genuine look of concern, as she stared at her future mother in law lying motionless on the wooden floor. She knelt down beside Anne-Marie and felt for a pulse, there was a very weak one. Jac checked Anne-Marie's airways were clear. _

JAC: Anne-Marie can you hear me?

_There was no response. Jac grabs the phone and calls 999. The operator says the abulance will be arriving very soon. Jac hangs up the phone. She looks down at the older woman, a sense of dread in the pit of of her stomach. Jac grips Anne-Marie's hand, which is pale and cold. Jac realises she needs to phone Joseph, she picks up her mobile and scrolls down to his number. She curses to herself as his phone is switched off. She decided not to leave a message._

_Jac can see Anne-Marie's breathing becoming shallow. All Jac can do now is wait for the ambulance to arrive and hope it's not too late - as she watches Anne-Marie's life slowly ebb away..._

_As Joseph drives back from work, he realises how happy he feels now compared to just a few months ago. He taps the steering wheel to a song playing on the radio. As he turns the final corner he sees an abulance with its lights flashing, parked right outside the flat. His heart skips a beat. He stops the car and gets out. Paramedics emerge carrying a stretcher, Joseph's immediate thought was something must have happened to Jac. His relief as Jac follows the paramedics out of the door is palpable. But his heart sinks again - the frail figure being wheeled to the abulance is his mother. At last he finds his voice._

JOSEPH: W-what is going on? What's happened?

JAC: She collapsed, we were talking and she just fell..

_Jac and Joseph climb into the abulance. Joseph's mind is whirling around with so many thoughts all jumbled up and fighting to come out. But he sits in silence and grips his ailing mother's hand. Jac puts an arm around him. The 15 minute drive to the hospital, which they are both so familiar with, seems never ending. Joseph just prays they get there before it's too _late..

_Elliot Hope is the surgeon on call, with Louise Carter assisting him in theatre. Anne-Marie is rushed into theatre. CT scans reveal a brain hemorrhage. They need to get her into resus as soon as possible._

_Jac's feeling helpless which is tinged with guilt as she watches Joseph pace up and down the corridor like an animal in distress._

JOSEPH: I must phone Sophia, she needs to know what's happened.

JAC: I've already told her, she's coming up as soon as she can.

JOSEPH: Right thanks. _They walk into the rest room._

_Joseph takes a seat beside Jac. She holds his hand, her fingers interlocking with his. She can feel his hand trembling so she tightens her grip._

JOSEPH: What if she dies? How am I going cope? The last time I saw her we were tearing strips off each other. The same thing happened with my father. History is repeating itself.

JAC: You can't feel guiilty about any of this. I don't just mean your mother, but everything else. Please Joe don't burden yourself with anymore guilt. It'll weigh you down. Anne-Marie could survive this.

JOSEPH: (_Sharply)_ Come on Jac, we both know the chances of her coming out of this alive are very slim. If by some miracle she does pull the through the surgery, in all probability she'll be in a coma, being kept alive only with a ventilator.

_Joseph puts his head in his hands. Jac stares blankly at the wall opposite. All they can do is sit and wait.._

_In theatre Elliot and Louise are struggling to save Anne-Marie._

ELLIOT: She's in VF! Charging to 100. Clear!

LOUISE: No output.

ELLIOT: Charging to 200. Clear!

LOUISE: Still nothing. _Louise gives an injection of Adrenaline into Anne-Marie's arm._

ELLIOT: Charging to 300. Clear!

LOUISE: Still nothing. Pupils are fixed and dilated. Elliot she's gone.

_Elliot looks shaken as he realises there's nothing more they can do. He takes off the mask._

ELLIOT: Time of death 22:17. I'll er, go and tell Joseph.

LOUISE: Do you want me to tell him?

ELLIOT: It's alright I'll tell him. But thank you.

LOUISE: OK.

_Elliot walks out of theatre. He walks to the rest room, He stops outside the door. He takes an intake of breath and braces himself to give the news that nobody wants to hear. He enters the room. Joseph stands up,Sophia is staring at the floor. Jac stays in her seat. From the look on Elliot's face she knows the news is grave._

ELLIOT: I am very sorry we couldn't save Anne-Marie, we tried everything we could. She suffered a massive brain hemorrahage. We tried resuscitating her, but the damage to the brain was exstensive.

SOPHIA: I-I don't understand. I saw her a few days ago, s-she seemed healthy. She didn't even say that she felt unwell.

ELLIOT: I can understand this must be hard to take in. She was on medication for high blood pressure.

SOPHIA: S-she told me they were helping, that as long as she took the tablets, and avoided stressful situations..

_Sophia's voice trailed off, as she began to sob. Elliot put his arm around her. Joseph hadn't said a word or even moved since Elliot had come in. His face was drained of colour, his eyes had a vacant expression. His arms were locked straight down by his side. His fists were clenched so tightly he could feel his fingernails cut into his palms. He stepped forward and put his hand out to shake Elliot's hand. Elliot gives the younger surgeon a hug._

JOSEPH: Thank you Elliot, thank you for everything.

ELLIOT: I'm just so sorry it wasn't enough.

_Elliot walks out of the room, leaving the three of them alone together._

JAC: I'm so sorry - for you both.

SOPHIA: I bet you're delighted, you knew our mother wasn't at all happy with the fact you and Joseph were getting married!

JAC: How could you even think I'd be happy? I actually wanted Anne-Marie to be at the wedding for Joseph's sake. I wanted to show her what he means to me.

SOPHIA: You just wanted to rub her nose in it. You took her husband, and now you're taking her son. I would watch her Joseph, she might want to sleep with someone else in our family!

JOSEPH: THAT'S ENOUGH! I will not not sit here and listen while you throw insults at the woman I am going to marry!

SOPHIA: If you had any respect for our mother, you would cancel this 'wedding', or at the very least delay it.

JAC: Maybe Sophia is right, Joseph?

JOSEPH: No, we will not be calling the wedding off. I believe that despite mother's diaspproval of it that she would want me to be happy.

SOPHIA: You keep telling yourself that Joseph!

_Sophia walks out in disgust. Leaving Jac and Joseph alone. Jac gets up and looks outside. Joseph comes and put his hand on her shoulder. _

JOSEPH: You said you were talking when she collasped?

_Jac turns to look at him. _

JAC: She said she wanted to talk. She had heard we were getting married. She told me that if I really loved you, that I should do the decent thing and walk away. when I told her that I wasn't going to because I loved you she...

JOSEPH: She what?

JAC: She said that I was too damaged to love someone, that you would see sense.

_Jac pauses and tries to control the bitterness in her voice._

JAC: She gave me a cheque worth fifty grand. I ripped it up, I couldn't believe she would honestly try and buy me off. Her body was swaying, I could see she was livid. She then collapsed in front of me. At first I thought she had just fainted. When she didn't respond I phoned for help.

JOSEPH: I can't believe she tried to bribe you. One minute she tells me I'm no longer her son. The next...

JAC: She loved you, she thought she was losing her son.

JOSEPH: I never thought I'd hear you defending her.

JAC: Desperation can do funny things to people, I should know...

_Joseph stands nervously at the alter fiddling with his tie. As he awaits the arrival of the bride. He can feel beads of sweat start to form on his brow. Michael nudges him in the ribs._

MICHAEL: Will you stop messing with the damn tie it's straight enough already.

JOSEPH: Where is Jac?

MICHAEL: Keep your hair on, remember it's the brides perogative to be late. You know Jac she always likes making you sweat right?

VICAR: Please stand.

_In comes Jac looking stunning in an ivory coloured dress. Joseph swallows, as Jac her arm draped over Sacha's walks down towards him. Twenty minutes later the registry office erupts with applause, as the vicar annouces them husband and wife. At last they were together and happy.. In spite of everything, the tragedy of the last few days. Jac and Joseph were where they had always wanted to be. They were united forever as husband and wife._

**I hope the final chapter is a fitting end to the story. I know the wedding may seem short. But I didn't want to make it too long. I have had a brilliant time writing this it's a nice ending, especially after last Tuesdays episode! Please review one last time. Thank you.**

**Holby City belongs to the BBC.**


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